Anathema
by hic-sunt-dracones
Summary: 30 years ago, people living behind the walls vanished into titan territory. In the year 849, an expedition is sent into the same territory. They discover a village of ashes and a girl. She hides many secrets, among them being the fate of the village. She proves to be a valuable asset... and is willing to die to save the expedition. *Eventual Levi/OC*
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**unknown POV**

The forest was silent around me, not that I was complaining. I had lived in silence for over a year, I was used to it. The titans seemed to have left this part of the forest for now. Why would they leave now? Perhaps they had found new humans to kill. Titans couldn't be satisfied with the town they had already massacred.

I shuddered as memories flashed through my mind. _The blood splashed everywhere, burning the bodies so the titans wouldn't come back._ I stopped myself from going further into the flashbacks. I couldn't have a panic attack in titan territory.

Who was I kidding? No matter where I went, it was titan territory. I sighed and shouldered my bow. The arrows clicked against each other with the force of the bow hitting it. I pulled the hood of my dark blue cloak up, hiding my choppy blonde hair. My 3D maneuvering device gleamed on my hips, looking odd next to my black clothing. My shirt was black as well, one of my last button up shirts. I would have to start making my clothing soon. Or scavenge from the scouts.

A scream caused me to rip my blades from their holsters. There weren't titans in the area, so why would they attract attention. I paused and listened for the footfalls. They were there, and it sounded like at least 10 titans. My steps were hesitant as I walked the opposite direction of the scream. There were no saviors in this land.

Another cry echoed through the forest, it was closer. Too close for comfort. I needed to leave now. But what about the other human? I should help him, it's what they would have wanted. Damn, why would I think about it?

I ran to a nearby tree and scaled it. I raced along the branches, my body light enough to avoid the dangers of cracking branches. I ran in the general direction of where the sound had originated, correcting my course when I heard another cry. There was nothing to do but run, I couldn't afford to waste gas. The only gas I had was what was in my home and what I could scavenge from the bodies of scouts.

* * *

Titans had surrounded a group of 16 scouts, which was weird considering that they usually traveled in groups of 6 or 7. One of the scouts, a short man with an odd hair cut, jumped to avoid a hand. He looked annoyed at the situation, trying to help a taller blonde man keep the squads calm. I hate helping people.

My cables attached themselves to a tree opposite of me. As I rocketed past, I slipped my blades along two of the titan's necks. My expression was bored and emotionless. As I landed, I shot a cable to one of the other titan's necks, a 12 meter one. My body spun to add force to the killing blow.

With 3 titans dead, the other squads sprang into action. Some went to distract the other beasts while others moved the injured to safety. The short man was the most effective, effortlessly cutting down titans. I caught myself calling him short, I wasn't taller than him, so I shouldn't be talking.

I twisted around to see a man about to be dropped down a titan throat. His comrade was gone, most likely eaten. Grabbing a thick stick, I traveled towards him at a dangerous speed. Just as the man fell into his mouth, I wedged the giant's mouth open. The scout scrambled out, and I followed before the mouth closed.

The titan fell forwards, his neck sliced open. The short man, whoever he is, flipped off him and faced me. All the other titans were dead by now, so everyone was focusing on me. The blonde stepped towards me. I became thankful for the cloak that hid my face.

"Thank you for assisting us, but I must ask, who are you?" Instead of answering, I shot cables to the nearest tree and climbed onto a branch. A scout followed and tried to reason with me. I leveled my bow at her, before shooting her sleeve.

While she was distracted, I ran through the forest. Leaping from tree to tree enabled me to conserve gas. I could hear the sound of maneuvering devices being shot off behind me. They were too far behind to catch me. Without thinking, I angled my body towards the ground and fell.

* * *

The water parted around me without a sound. I swam through a tunnel flooded with water. It opened into a small cave, which lead to a hidden clearing. The clearing was surrounded by tall cliffs, making it hard for a titan to attack me here, It had been built by my parents as a safe haven. They had known that the village walls wouldn't hold forever. Not that it mattered, my parents had died.

_Just like the rest of them._

Tears threatened to spill down my face. I swiped them away and shoved my emotions to the back of my mind. I couldn't allow myself to feel anything. The 3D maneuvering device fell to the floor with a thud as I entered the house against one wall of the meadow.

The interior was simple. A small kitchen like area was against one wall of the house. A table sat in the middle of the room, looking clean but unused.. The one thing I hated was unnecessary mess. The wall that sectioned off part of the house was made out of bookcases. The bookcases were filled with scavenged books and sheets of music.

The bathroom was the only part of the interior that had real walls. It was simple yet functional. I stripped to my underclothes and stretched out on the thin mat on the floor. With a sigh, I waited for sleep to come.

** 3rd POV **

The expedition had decided to camp together for tonight. Too many had been injured or killed during the titan ambush. It was necessary that they had the man power to defend themselves if required.

"We should turn back. We will all die if we go any farther!" A scout shouted at Commander Erwin.

"This is the farthest we have ever gotten. All of those injured will recover within a day," His eyes narrowed as the man cut him off.

"A day? We don't have a day! Between the Titans and the cannibal stalking us, we'll be dead by morning!" The man's eyes were panicked.

"If you want to go back so badly, then why don't you leave? A scumbag like you should have no problem doing that," Captain Raveille gave him a disgusted look.

"I-" the scout stuttered before assuming a respectful pose.

"You've lost your nerve now. Something like that could get you killed out here. So, shut up and get ready to go," the scout winced.

"Thank you, Levi. As for you," Commander Erwin turned his attention to the scout, "We have at least another 3 miles to travel before we stop for the night. We leave in ten!" He shouted to the rest of the scouts.

* * *

"What..." Hange's voice trailed away. For once, even she was shocked.

Before them lay the ruins of a small village. The walls that had surrounded it were in ruins, holes scattered across the wood and stone structure. Behind the walls, there were small wooden houses. They were set in a way so that the tallest structures were towards the center, creating an easy way to spot the approach of enemies. Vegetation seemed to be taking over the place, twisting through the ruins.

"Spread out, if this place has people in it, we need to know. Squad leaders, you are in charge of assignments," the commander ordered.

* * *

Levi led his squad into the southwest quadrant. The area seemed to have borne the brunt of the attack, most of the houses here seemed to have been crushed.

"How had they managed to survive?" Gunther wondered.

"It looks as if their defenses were extremely well designed. I wonder how they fell," Petra murmured.

"One part of the wall is gone. The titans must have worked on that part of the wall to enter the compound," Levi informed them. He stopped suddenly, in the center of the courtyard lay the remains of a huge fire. It looked to have been there for a long time, because most of it had blown away. The squad moved forward, hesitantly. "

Is that bone?" Petra gasped. She stared at the remains of a human skull.

"I found what appears to be a leg," Erd called.

"More bone over here. Perhaps they burned the remains?" Auruo winced.

"We have more ground to cover by nightfall," Levi passed the ashes without a second glance.

* * *

**Unknown POV**

I woke up in cold sweat, my arms reaching out to grab something that wasn't there. There was nothing, just like every other time this had happened. With a sigh, I picked myself up from the mat and began to prepare a meal. It was simple: deer and water. CRASH! The plate slipped from my fingers and smashed to the floor.

"Damn," I froze. I hadn't spoken in over a year. My voice was raspy and quiet. I felt twitchy and wide awake. Walking to the book case, I scanned the titles for something I hadn't read. There was nothing, I would have to get something from that damned village. Pulling on my black boots and gear took less than a minute to do. I made sure that all my arrows were in their quiver before throwing my cloak on and leaving.

I left through one of the few tunnels that entered the meadow. One of the bright sides about this base was that the entry points were hard to find, but useful when you finally found them. Bright light blinded me for a few moments while my eyes adjusted to the change. I scaled a tree and headed toward the town in the usual way: jumping from tree to tree. I arrived there in less than 20 minutes. From there, I entered through part of the wall completely overtaken by vines.

The vines concealed a hole in the wall that was small enough to keep out most savages. As I walked down the streets, I mentally acknowledged certain places. The house where I learned to read, where I shot my first arrow, and the titan footprint that marked where a villager had been crushed.

After that, I stopped walking through my memories.

The village library had been in the southwest corner. It had been considered the most important building when people had lived here. There was no use living without learning. I slipped through an alley before climbing over a low fence. The library was just ahead. I slipped in through a skylight in the library. The air was dusty and old, reeking of forgotten knowledge. I took my time browsing through the stacks, hating the way the books were starting to crumble. I couldn't bring myself to move them somewhere safe.

* * *

**3rd pov **

Levi's squad had covered most of the quadrant. All they found was smeared blood and footprints. The bodies must have been eaten or burned, seeing as they had found another pile of ashes near the wall.

"Levi, Petra, everyone! Look what I found!" Gunther ran up to them looking excited.

"Did you find a titan?" Levi sarcastically asked.

"Better!" Gunther led them to an old stone building near the south wall. It looked better than the others, with less titan footprints around it. Gunther opened the door and led them inside.

"A library!" Petra smiled happily, "I have never seen so many in one place."

"Whoever lived here must have loved books," Gunther grinned.

"Levi, can we explore?" Petra asked. Levi nodded, his eye twitching slightly at the dust. The squad split up to explore. Levi walked to the back of the library. He spotted the shadow of a person near the farthest stack of book. Silently creeping closer, he opened his mouth.

"Levi, have you seen Erd?" Petra asked. The figure whirled around, the hood of their cloak falling. A slim, short girl was revealed. Her hair was so pale that it looked white, despite the fact that it was blonde. The girl's eyes were hard as she aimed an arrow at them. The short girl looked painfully thin, with a scar rippling across her right cheek.

"Who are you?"Levi demanded. She said nothing as she tightened her grip on the bow. "Do not make me rip that toy from your hands, savage. Who are you?" She cocked her head.

"Why are you here? This town has fallen to the titans. You should leave now, before this place betrays you."

* * *

**Unknown POV**

Shit! Why didn't I hear them coming. All I could do was aim my arrow towards them in the hopes that they would leave. It wasn't working, seeing as the short one was a little asshole.

"That still does not answer my question," He took a step towards me.

"Why do I need to answer to you? Go back to living behind your walls, scout," I snarled in a raspy voice. The girl behind the asshole sighed when I insulted him.

"What happened to this village? Give me an answer, damn it!" His demeanor was threatening now.

"I don't have a name, not anymore," I struggled to keep my voice emotionless, "But if you must call me something, call me Anathema. As for what happened to the village, it doesn't matter."

"It does when we find a village that survived in titan territory, savage," He replied. "

They didn't survive!" I snapped, "Leave now, before your squads die."

"How do we know that you're not going to attack us?" The girl spoke up. Footsteps approached me from behind. I shot an arrow at the duo before climbing the bookshelf. With a graceful leap, I caught the edge of the sky light and climbed onto the roof. I jumped from roof to roof, resisting the urge to use my gear. My foot slipped on a loose piece of rock.

I fell into a roll, almost missing the edge of the roof. It gave the squad time to catch up with me. The largest gap between rooftops was approaching. I increased my speed before jumping, falling into the alley below. I flew down the road, slipping through the gap in the wall. I could disappear into the forest.

Something slammed into me, sending me to the ground. Twisting onto my back, I saw the short man rising to his feet a few feet away. Barely pausing to rest, I rose and continued running. My maneuvering gear shot cables at trees ahead, sending me through the forest at dizzying speeds. He was able to keep up until I went through a particularly dense and wild patch of trees. His curses filled the air as one of his cables got tangled. Laughing softly at his misfortune, I stopped using my gear and ran to my base.

* * *

_ I walked though the forest, enjoying the sunlight pouring through the trees. Today had been successful, a fat brace of rabbits hung from my belt. My brother would be impressed when I got home, considering that he had trained me. Feeling energetic, I decided to climb a tree. I somehow ended up at the top, staring towards my village. There were titans walking through a gap in the walls. _

_No! I used my 3D maneuvering gear to reach the village in a matter of minutes. Slicing the neck of a titan crossing the wall, I raced towards home. They had to be there! They had to be alive! If I got there, I would see them getting ready to evacuate. My home came into view, I stopped in shock. _

_"No! It can't be!" My house was gone, crushed and splattered with blood. _

* * *

I screamed myself awake, crying out for a family that wasn't there. Gasping, I willed myself to calm down. The room seemed too small, too unrealistically calm. Curling up into a ball, I waited until my heart stopped beating dangerously fast. Slowly, I stood, trying to figure out someway to distract myself. Perhaps I could hunt.

* * *

I crouched on a tree branch, watching a deer prance into the clearing I was above. Carefully removing an arrow from my quiver, I began to aim at the animal. He was a fawn, it would be easy to get him back to my shelter. With a twang, the bow string snapped back into place, sending the arrow flying. It pierced his neck, causing the fawn to stumble forward until another arrow landed in his right eye. The fawn fell and twitched before taking its last breath.

Dropping to the ground, I reached the animal in a few steps. Contemplating how to get it back to base, I heard footsteps behind me. Afraid of being attacked, I shot an arrow at the approaching people. Too late, I noticed that it was a pair of scouts. The only thing I could do was shift my aim slightly to the left. The arrow thudded into the tree beside the tall blonde. The shorter man that had chased me earlier gave me a look of disgust. I turned to leave.

"Wait!" I froze and turned to face them. "I am Commander Erwin and this is Lance Corporal Rivaille. We are part of the scout regiment of the last human territory. I've was told that you're called Anathema." Commander Erwin greeted. I gave him a look that ordered him to tell me what he wanted.

"It has been discovered that a village survived in titan territory for at least 20 years. I'm sure you are already aware of this. Perhaps you could tell us how it survived and how it was destroyed." My anger flared up.

"No," I snarled.

"This the farthest we have ventured into titan territory. Do you honestly believe that we will go back now?" The Lance Corporal spoke up.

"You will leave. This area is dangerous; it's full of titans and savages. As for the village, you don't need to know what happened," I sneered.

"This knowledge could help the human race survive!" The Commander argued.

"It sure as hell didn't help that damn place! Why do you even bother? The titans kill everyone in the end!" I growled.

"Listen-" the corporal began. I froze and tilted my head.

"Be quiet. I can hear something," I ordered.

Hearing the familiar sound of a bowstring being released, I pushed the corporal out of the way. Pain exploded in my right shoulder as an arrow went through it. It went in through the front before going through my back and thudding into the tree behind me. Without thinking, I fired an arrow in the direction the arrow had come from. A man dressed in mismatched clothing with a feral look in his eyes fell to the ground.

And the world erupted into chaos.

Ignoring the pain searing my side, I rushed towards the savages running towards us. Scouts ran past me, they had hidden in the trees. I slashed my first attacker across the throat, before stabbing the next in the throat. Arrows rained down us, I needed to take out the archers before the scouts dies. Cables brought me up to the first savage. I blocked her bow from hitting me in the face before throwing her to the ground. She hit the ground with a sickening crunch. Glancing around, I noticed the corporal doing the same thing. Killing the last archer proved to be extremely difficult, the blood loss had weakened me.

Gasping, I leaned against the tree and tried to stay conscious. The scouts on the ground had killed the rest of the savages, leaving a bloody mess. My vision flickered as I moved, a girl grappling to my spot.

"I'm Squad Leader Hange! If you'll just let me look at your shoulder-" I didn't wait for her to finish, using my maneuvering device to move away from the scene. No one would follow me, not with injured scouts.

* * *

I stumbled down one of the tunnels leading to my base. Limping across the meadow, I opened the door to the house. Bottles smashed to the floor as I ripped open a cabinet. Groaning, I poured a bottle of alcohol on my shoulder. It took me 3 tries to thread the needle. My stitches were sloppy and bloody, courtesy of the blood loss. Eventually I finished wrapping my shoulder in a roll of clean cloth, passing out once. Half-crawling, I began to make my way to my bedroom. A scream ripped through the air, near where the savages had attacked me. Whipping around, I moaned as my shoulder blazed with pain. I fell to the ground, feeling myself falling unconscious. I gave in, more than ready to let the pain end.

* * *

**So what do you think? Should I continue? The writing for the first chapter is a little rough, but I had trouble improving it. If I continue this, I will be adding in certain things. Things like:**

**-some titans will display small amounts of intelligence. Some will know to protect their neck or to remove any cables near them.**

**-I will be referring to deviant type titans as variants (Some people refer to deviant types this way, but I'm not sure if they are referred to as variants in the anime)**

**-Hangi's craziness will be dialed down because I find her difficult to write**

**-Levi will refer to Anathema as a savage, as he considers it the best insult for someone outside the walls**

**-I will alternate between referring to the 3dm gear as 3d Maneuvering Device, 3DM gear, and I will call the hooks used to go between trees, cables**

**Oh, Anathema can mean two things. It is derived from a Greek word meaning dedicated. It also has been used in the bible (Religion will not be apart of this story, but the library has many books considered lost and the bible is one of them. Anathema is not religious, she just read the bible), in the New Testament to excommunicate someone. It basically means to be cursed or damned, which is the meaning implied in the story.**


	2. Chapter 2

**3rd POV**

Commander Erwin had led the others back to the village. Several of his scouts had been injured, although no one had died. Hange had tried to chase after Anathema, but had been ordered to stop. The scouts had to treat each other's wounds, cursing the savages that had attacked. Erwin and his squad leaders were now sitting around one of many fires that lit the village. They were discussing whether to stay in the village because of the amount of information that still had to be deciphered or move on. Hange had begged Erwin for the chance to stay and conduct more tests.

"I will think about it," Erwin decided, "Has there been any sign of Anathema?"

"They found traces of blood, but she did not leave an obvious trail. It is likely that the savage bled out, considering we have not seen her for 3 days," Levi stated.

"I do not believe she is a savage," Hange murmured, " A savage would have tried to kill us as soon as she discovered we were around. She acted in self defense, and tried to make us leave. Also, why would a savage take an arrow for a person she does not want here?"

"I have not been able to scent the girl. Perhaps she thought that the death of our commander would cause us to kill her." Mike sighed.

"It is late, we should get some sleep. Remember, Hange, do not try to capture a cannibal!" Erwin ordered.

"But the experiments I could do!"

* * *

**Anathema POV**

It was breathtakingly cold when I woke up. I was disoriented for a few moments until I realized why I was on the floor. My shoulder screamed in protest when I got to my feet, hating how weak I was. It took me a minute to make sure I wasn't about to fall, another to light a candle so I could see what I was doing.

I lit a fire in the fireplace, aimlessly shoving wood in the thing. Setting a pot of water on it to heat up, I got out some dried meat to chew on while I waited for my tea. I sighed as the tea slid down my throat. It was perfect for a cold night like this.

Finishing my tea, I headed to the bathroom. The tub contained a pump designed to easily pull water from a nearby spring, so I didn't have to strain my shoulder. I lit up the torches on the wall and the wood stove under the tub. Slipping into the tub was easy, unwrapping my bandaged shoulder was not.

Ideas swirled around my head while I bathed. How was I supposed to get the scouts to leave? I could set fire to the village, without it they would move on. However, I would lose the last shreds of my sanity if I burned the place. What if I lured titans to the area? No, that would kill too many of them. I could always talk to them. It's not like I had anything to lose? Speaking of that, why was I so hostile towards them?

I pulled the plug out of the tub and watched the water swirl down the drain. I struggled to untangle my mop of hair. Frustrated, I grabbed a knife. Ten minutes later, my hair was barely long enough to touch my shoulders. My blonde hair was wavy without the weight my long hair had added. Exhausted from that small effort, I curled up on my mat.

* * *

The sun was shining as I shot through the trees. I was too weak to jump across the branches, forcing me to waste precious gas. I landed on a tall tree overlooking the village. I would wait here until it became dark enough for me to move undetected.

* * *

The sun had sunk below the horizon about an hour ago. Fires dotted the village streets and in the houses. It felt weird seeing this place so alive. Slipping through the hole in the wall, I flitted from roof to roof. It was terribly easy to sneak past patrols, disgusting. Based on the layout of my home, the commander would be near the center.

"I wonder if that Anathema girl died," a patrol member pondered as I snuck past.

"She's a savage, who cares?" Anger flared in my body when I heard those words. I did not eat people and I had only fought to defend myself. I was not savage.

The bustle of activity grew closer to the center. Men ran past shouting about movements of titans and savages. They seemed to flock around one campfire, before scattering when someone snarled at them. The less people around, the better. I moved to crouch on a building a few feet away, easily hiding in the shadows.

"Please let me capture a titan," a girl with glasses pleaded.

"Hange, you are not bringing that disgusting creature here," Rivaille stated.

"Levi, why do you have to be such a clean freak?" Hange raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

"Mike, is there something wrong?" Erwin asked.

"I smell something different. Human, but different," Mike sniffed. Uh oh. I got ready to reveal myself.

"Will you let me look for Anathema?" Hange asked.

"I believe she is dead, Hange," Erwin gently said.

"NOOOO," Hange cried. What was wrong with this girl?

"Shame, if the savage had helped us, we would have been able to leave faster," Levi sipped his drink. Rising to my feet , I jumped to the ground. Stalking forward into the light, I glared at the people gathered around the fire.

"Well, it's too bad that I'm dead," I scoffed. The group jumped to their feet, weapons drawn. Ready to defend myself, I unsheathed my sword. "Really? Do you think I would come here to attack you and risk straining my shoulder?" When they didn't lower their sword, I sheathed mine, "There, happy now?"

Erwin raised his hand, reluctantly, the group put away their swords. He gestured for me to sit on one of the benches that surrounded the fire. I shot them a suspicious look before seating myself. They gathered on the benches, staring at me.

"What are you guys so desperate to ask me?" I asked. It was Mike who spoke up next.

"Who the hell are you?"

"My name is Anathema," taking a deep breath, I continued, "the last surviving member of this village."

"You did come from this village! Tell me, do the titans actively try to eat you? Can I examine your shoulder?" Hange asked.

"Only when I make noise, and if you touch me, I'll stab you," I threatened.

"Focus, glasses," Levi turned to me, "that's not your real name."

"I have no desire to use the name that I was given, " I spat. Using that name would deepen my guilt at failing the village.

"How did this village come to be?" Erwin hastily interrupted. "Twenty or thirty years ago, a group of scouts and hunters abandoned your walls. They established this village after months of traveling and avoiding titans."

"That is shit, scouts would never abandon the walls!" Mike argued. "They did. Anyways, the usual stuff happened: death, despair, whatever. Our people would rescue the scouts that you thought were dead. Most stayed after being rescued, but a couple tried to make it to the walls," interrupting me, Erwin asked a question.

"You didn't help them?"

"Once you left the village, you were on your own. The scouts brought maneuvering gear, and learned how to mine natural gas. We had a factory a couple miles away that mined the stuff, it was destroyed," I added. "I was hunting the day the walls fell. The more intelligent titans figured out the stretch of wall that was weakest. It was torn down and used as an entry point into this damn place. By the time I arrived, everyone was dead. I burned the bodies so the cannibals couldn't get to them."The scout leaders shot horrified looks at each other.

"So now that you know the history, you guys should leave." I suggested.

"We can't," Hange announced, "not until we finish exploring the ruins. Oh, I'd like to examine some animals, titans, and cannibals," she added upon seeing the look on my face.

"Great, try not to destroy anything," I made to leave.

"Wait, if you help us, we can leave sooner," Erwin suggested.

"As much as I hate you guys being here, I hate helping more," I rose from my seat, wincing at the pain in my shoulder.

"Then why the fuck did you help us in the first place?" Levi spoke up. He was referring to when I killed the 3 of the ten titans that had surrounded the squads. Ignoring him, I shot cables to the roof and disappeared.

* * *

**3rd POV **

Commander Erwin watched as Anathema left them. Turning to Levi, he quickly decided on a course of action.

"Follow her and make sure she doesn't get herself hurt," Levi rolled his eyes before going after Anathema.

"She'll try to kill him if she finds out he's following her," Mike said.

"I do not think so. She's hostile, but I believe that it is from the lack of human interaction." Erwin said thoughtfully.

"And why does she need to be followed?" Hange asked.

"Her shoulder. Her face gradually became paler while she was here. I don't want her to faint from pain while traveling through the forest." Nodding, they accepted his explanation.

* * *

**Anathema's POV**

Halfway home, I stopped on a particularly large branch and rubbed my shoulder. The pain had been fine when I had begun talking, but now it had risen to a sharp, throbbing sensation. I would have to be careful in order to prevent an infection.

Staring at the moon through the trees, I sat on the branch with my back against the trees, A crescent moon had risen the night after everyone had died. After I had dragged the bodies into a massive pile, I had tossed a torch onto them. It had taken hours for them to burn. Most had been partially eaten or crushed. The worst had been the ones who were still alive. Many had begged me to kill them, but a few had insisted on fighting. My family hadn't had that choice. A titan had crushed my house and everyone in it. By the time I had arrived, they were dead. My mother's necklace had been wrapped around her fingers, falling to the floor when I moved her.

* * *

_ My mother's eyes stared lifelessly as I hauled her to a pile. My eyes were dry of tears, that would come later. Tiredly walking back to my house, I clutched my brother's shoulders. Even in death, he was smiling. Tripping, I fell, his body landing beside me. A gash in his side showed itself to me. Blood was dried and crusted over his shirt. Scrambling backwards, I struggled to avoid his dead eyes. They were staring at me, dark and accusing. Whispering apologies, I continued with my task._

* * *

Snapping back to reality, I slapped a hand over my mouth. Sobs threatened to erupt from my throat. Every time, it was worse. Cursing, I swiped away the tears that slipped down my cheeks. I shuddered and buried my face in my hands. Shit! I wobbled on my branch as a particularly sharp pain shot through my body. This sucked. With the stitches, I couldn't use my bow. Not to mention the fact that I had almost fallen off my tree because of it.

Swearing, I dug my nails into my leg when the next wave hit. This was not okay. My hand lightly touched my cheek, feeling how cool and clammy it was. The skin on my neck prickled, someone was watching me.

"Having fun watching me?" I asked while looking for the person. There they were, standing on a branch a couple of trees away. The outline suggested a man. The stitches burned my skin, causing me to bow my head in pain. When I glanced up, he had moved closer.

"That's really creepy. You can stop watching me now," I closed my eyes and leaned my head back, not caring whether they stayed or not. A warm hand lightly touched my forehead. Reacting without thinking, I knocked the hand away and yanked a sword out. It's tip kissed his throat from my position of sitting.

"You don't have a fever, but I'm still going to have to scrub my hands and throat after this," Levi complained. He knocked my sword away, crouching next to me. I hissed when he touched my arm.

"Don't touch me." My voice breaking slightly. Digging my nails into the bark, I pulled myself to my feet.

"Idiot, you refuse help even when you need it," Levi insulted.

"I've survived in this place for almost 2 years without human contact. The fact that you guys are here doesn't change anything," My eyes searched the trees, looking for a good place to attack my cables to.

"The fact that you talked to us tonight directly contradicts that," he countered. Absentmindedly, I noticed that the top of my head was level with his eyes.

"I hoped that it would get you idiots to stop bothering me. Clearly, Erwin didn't get the message," I didn't wait for a reply, shooting cables through the forest. Levi easily kept up with me, having learned the way I traveled. My aim was off slightly when I shot the next cable. It slammed into a thin, dead branch. It broke with a crack, sending the branch and my cable to the ground.

With only one cable attached, I swung towards the tree at a dangerous speed. Instinct took over, my body angled itself so that my feet would stop my momentum without my face being smashed into the trunk. The force snapped me to the side, and my right hand wrapping around the cable to steady myself. A scream tore from my throat as I used all my strength to steady myself. The stitches on my shoulder and back ripped open and sent blood trickling down my shirt.

Levi landed next to me, concern flickering across his face before resuming its usual unflappable expression. I yanked the branch from my cable with an annoyed flick of my arm. I leaped off the tree, grimacing as the cables pulled me forward. In a couple of mintes, we'd have to walk. That thought startled me. I was leading him to my home and I didn't even care. Seeing the tree that I always stopped at just ahead, I lowered myself to the ground.

Glancing at the man just behind me, I pulled aside the vines that were draped across one of the many tunnels that opened up the rocky cliff wall in front of me. The light flickered out as Levi let the vines drop, plunging the tunnel into darkness.

"Hold on to my shoulder if you can't see," I roughly said. A hand lightly touched my bad shoulder, "the other shoulder."

I led him down the tunnel, using my memory to guide me. The clearing was just ahead, pale moonlight washing the edge of the tunnel. He stopped touching my shoulder. I slowly walked across the clearing, thankful that my shoulder had was only throbbing.

"Welcome to my humble abode," I mockingly said as I opened the door. Levi raised his eyebrow and stepped inside.

"Your shirt is covered in blood. Can't you go more than 5 seconds without making a mess?" Levi asked irritably.

"Sorry, I'll let the next scout who is aimed at by a savage be hit with an arrow," I retorted before moving into the bathroom. My shirt was tossed to the floor to leave me in an undershirt and bra.

I unwrapped the bandage that was soaked with blood and tossed it into a basket beside the sink. I rinsed the wound with a wet cloth before fully examining it. The skin had torn free of the stitches in some places, while the thread had broken in others. Further examination revealed the same on my back. I grabbed a needle and thread from the cupboard under the sink. Walking past the man calmly sitting at my table, I grabbed a bottle of alcohol from the kitchen and doused my tools in the stuff. I vanished into the bathroom again.

I stitched up the entry wound first. The new stitches were smaller and neater. I traced my finger down the exit wound, memorizing its structure before stitching the skin together. I craned my neck to look at my back in the mirror and felt a surge of satisfaction. The stitches would hold this time. I entered the main part of the house to find Levi browsing through my bookcase.

"Why are you still here?" I asked.

"Erwin ordered me to make sure you didn't get yourself killed."

"Well, I didn't. You can leave now," I hurriedly said.

"For almost five years, the scout have not led an expedition outside the walls. Our efforts have been concentrated on regaining the outermost wall," my eyes widened.

"Wait! You lost one of the walls?" I gasped.

"A titan appeared, a colossal titan. It broke through the wall. We had no plans to venture outside until we regained Wall Maria. The king," Levi said in disgust, "ordered us to lead an expedition to the outside. Despite our protests, he threatened us with treason if we did not comply."

"And why should I care?"

"A third of our men were lost during the journey. Lives lost for a worthless cause. The only things that have been discovered are that it is possible to maintain a village in titan territory and that a girl is too wrapped up in self-hatred to explain what is going on."

"You don't know the whole story! I have every right to withhold information. You haven't lived in guilt for the past year and a ha-" I clamped my lips together. Levi's eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Why would you feel guilty?" He cocked his head.

"I'm the only one that survived, just because I took a hunting trip that day. Why wouldn't I feel guilty?" I hastily countered.

"That's not all," he thoughtfully said, "Something happened that you blame yourself for."

"Get out." I was pissed.

"Why? Are you scared that everyone will hate you if they know what happened?" I balled my hands into fists.

"Get the hell out. I don't have to listen to you. Hell, I could lead cannibals or titans to your camp and let everyone be slaughtered like pigs. Your lives will truly be worthless," I was asking for trouble.

Levi slammed me against the back wall. His hand wrapped around my throat, the other around the fist that tried to hit his face. I growled before moving my other hand to push him backwards. His face was livid, disgust scrawled across his features. He stalked to my door, slamming it open.

"The only thing that is worthless is your existence. Despite what you claim, you are a savage." He spat. I slid to the floor as he walked out, feeling broken inside.

* * *

Sunlight slowly rippled across the forest. I stared at the sunset, deep in thought. After he had left, I had recklessly entered the forest. My path had been loud and obvious to a tracker, not that I cared. I was perched on a branch overlooking a small stream. Levi's words ran through my mind. They shredded my other thoughts until the only thing that existed was his words.

So many lives wasted, villagers and scouts. Both were leading or had led pointless lives, doomed to eventually die a brutal death. Their deaths were worthless, merely serving as a way to spur the human race on. There was no point to it all. But at the same time there was. Despite all that had happened, the scouts were convinced that eventually something good would happen. Many knew that in some way, their comrade's lives were worth something. They hoped that one day things would change. I knew this from the scouts that had been rescued by my village over the course of my life, yet here I was.

I sat here wasting my life, hating the fact that everyone I had loved had died. Hating that, in a way, their deaths were my fault. Through that, I was wasting their lives. Perhaps I should help the scouts as a way to atone for the things in my past. At the same time, I was hesitant. I had no obligation to help the scouts with this. After the massacre, I had sworn off human interaction. I sat here, contemplating my choices.

After thinking for a couple more minutes, I rose to my feet. I had made my decision, and whether I would regret it later didn't matter.

* * *

**Author's Note: Hi! Thanks for the follows, favorites, and reviews. I will continue this story until further notice. However, I cannot promise regular updates due to wind ensemble practices, dual enrollment, laziness, procrastination, end of course exams, and life in general. They will usually be within a month of each other, which is as regular as it will get. This was a slow chapter, but it gives a general explanation of what happened to the village. Well, that's all for now!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

I jumped from branch to branch, having regained enough strength to travel normally. My shoulder pains had faded with the night, leaving me invigorated. I was ready for whatever happened next. Spinning to a stop, I listened for any movement in the forest. Screams sounded somewhere in the forest.

Sighing, I made sure my bow was secure before moving in the direction of the screams. I had retrieved my bow and arrows from my house before continuing with my goal. Crouching over the source of the scream, I stared in exasperation at the scene below.

The scouts had discoverd a bear scavenging for food. It seems as if they were stupid enough to challenge it. The results were that 2 scouts were trying to put pressure on the scratches in their sides. They were lucky, had the bear been quicker, they would be dead.

The bear was currently trying to maul any of the four scouts still attacking. The bear stood at least 7 feet high, with a rather thick coat. The scouts were shouting, urging each other to kill it. I pulled my bow off my shoulder and fitted an arrow to it. Taking aim, I released the arrow.

It sunk into the bear's right eye. It swayed for a minute before collapsing, dead due to the arrow in its brain. The scouts glanced up in suspicion. I quickly descended to the forest floor.

"Next time, don't directly challenge the bear. Have somebody shoot it with a gun or arrow," I informed them, "I believe your commander asked me to come to the village."

* * *

"Commander Erwin, we discovered the girl in the forest," A female scout informed the man.

"Actually, it was more like I saved their asses from a bear," I interjected.

"So you're going to help us?" I nodded, "Good, we will not stay here much longer. Hange will be delighted to have you helping."

The squad leader walked over at the mention of her name, "You decided to help! I can't wait to see what you know!" Thankfully, she wasn't acting as creepy this time.

* * *

I led them around the village pointing out certain buildings and their various functions. Hange was fascinated by the wall defenses we used. She was interested in whether we had tried to convert any savages living outside.

"The founders tried. They stopped once a couple of them were killed and eaten," I explained.

"Fascinating. Do they eat flesh raw or do they cook it? I imagine that if they cook it, they usually char it over an open flame," Hange rambled.

"Stop! They eat it raw," I said, "Can you please ask me about something else?

"Right, why would you set up the buildings this way?"

"It was designed so that people from the shorter houses could flee to the tallest houses in the center. Balconies on the buildings surrounding these buildings would provide places for soldiers to easily slice titan's weak points," I recalled.

"But it didn't work, why?" Hange asked.

"I don't know. I wasn't there that day," I sadly said.

"Squad leader Hange, a team has captured a large feline creature near the north wall," A messenger landed beside me.

"Oh, I can't wait!" She shot off without a second's thought. Smiling at her antics, I aimlessly wandered through the village streets. This wasn't so bad. It felt nice to help out Hange. Even if she was extremely crazy. I wondered if I would miss them when they left.

I stopped once I realized where I was. Unintentionally, I had walked to my family's home. The ruins sat before me. It was a pile of rubble, no evidence of what it had been. Despite my misgivings, I stepped closer. Placing a foot onto a broken stone, I moved into the ruins. A gleam of blue caught my eye.

I crouched among the rubble and picked up the pendant. It was blackened and dirty, but it still had the power to trigger panic attacks. As if on cue, I flashed back to that night. I struggled to draw in air, feeling like the rubble was burying me. This couldn't be happening right now. I fell to my knees, leaning over and placing my head against a piece of rubble. Breathe, Anathema, breathe. I coached myself. It wasn't working. My heart felt like it was about to explode. So did my head.

"Why now? Please, stop," I whispered. The pendant dug into my hand. Dimly, I heard someone walk up to me. Tears trickled down my face, but I ignored them. I struggled to keep myself from screaming. Hands wrapped around my waist and pulled me to their chest. I was barely aware of the sounds of cables being shot to a roof top.

We landed on a roof 2 blocks away. I had calmed down by then and was beginning to panic. Some random guy had grabbed me! Cheeks reddening, I pulled away. I blushed even more when I realized that it was Levi who had saved me.

"Thanks," I muttered and tucked the pendant into my pocket.

"What was that?" He asked.

"Nothing," I hurriedly replied.

"You just had a meltdown in the middle of the street. I doubt it was nothing. Stop being an idiot and tell me before you get you get yourself killed during a panic attack," Levi said. I stared at him for a moment before giving in.

"That house was my family's."

"I fail to see how that would trigger a panic attack."

"It wouldn't, but this does," I produced the pendant from my pocket. The wings of freedom were etched onto the dark blue stone set into the center of the black, obsidion shield. The chain that was strung around it was made of the same obsidion, made using techniques that had been forgotten long ago.

"A necklace brought you to your knees," His voice was doubtful.

"Among other things, yes," I pocketed the cursed object.

"It was my grandfather's. My father gave it to my mother, who was supposed to give it to me at a certain time. She never got the chance," my voice trailed off.

"Why didn't you take it when you moved the bodies?" Levi questioned.

"I didn't think I deserved it. My father was the chief of defense for the town. Before that, it was a scout. It was decided that any children born in the village would immediately have their future mapped out. I was chosen to be the next chief of defense." I began.

"That sounds like it was decided by assholes," Levi scoffed.

"It was efficient. It was my day off when the walls fell. Once my father was killed, the guards scattered. There wasn't anyone to lead them. Without me, everyone died," I rubbed my shoulder wearily.

"You're so stuck up that you believe that you could have saved everyone, pathetic," he sneered.

"Shut up. I was their best fighter. My father, for the most part, had turned over his responsibilities. I was too immaturee to listen," I said miserably.

"You have got to be joking. You selfish, little blonde," he insulted.

"You can't talk! As if you aren't short. I've heard what they call you, 'Humanity's Strongest Warrior.' You don't argue with the title either. If that's not arrogant, then I don't know what is," I snarled.

"It's better for them to have hope than to let them allow themselves to become titan fodder! At least they fight for something. All you do is sit on your ass all day."

"Sit on my ass, are you serious? Everyday is a struggle to stay alive," I walked to the edge of the building. I was seething now.

"You call this living?" He grabbed my shoulder.

"I call this surviving."

* * *

For the next two days, I led Hange and her squad around the village. Levi's squad was in charge of exploring the forest and making sure everything ran smoothly. I had never realized how starved I was for human interaction. The expedition would depart tomorrow. Hange was constantly asking if I wanted to return to the walls with them, but I had refused.

The urge to distance myself from the expedition had caused me to retreat to the forest. I was sitting on a root potruding from the ground. It wasn't the best place to be in titan territory, but I didn't care. The prospect of spending the last few years of my life in the forest was depressing. I knew that if I went to the walls I would be considered an outcast.

The sound of a flare being shot off caused me to glance up. Black smoke drew a line across the sky. Hange had taught me about the flare system. A variant was nearby. I placed my palm on the ground in the hopes that I would be able to feel the vibrations of the variant's footsteps.

The variant was moving fast, I could hear it now. Just great, the titan was heading in my direction. I scaled the nearest tree and waited. My swords rang as I pulled them out. It was slightly suicidal to take on a variant alone, not that I cared. The variant leaped into view.

It was an odd one. It took gigantic leaps and flailed its arms all over the place. Levi's squad raced after it. The titan seemed to have some form of inteligence, knowing enough to avoid them. It yanked Petra's cabled from the tree, causing Eld to race to catch her. He shouted orders for them to fall back because it wasn't heading for the village.

The titan skidded to a stop directly under my tree. Tilting its head up, it stared at me with wide, unblinking eyes. Perfect, now I had to kill the creature. Gunther was the first to notice me. I had decided to take my time with this one, casually leaning against theside of the tree.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? Move, bitch!" Eld shouted.

"It isn't going anywhere. I'll get rid of it eventually," I rolled my eyes.

"We don't have time for this! Let's just get rid of it," Gunther moved to attack the titan. Another titan walked out of the brush, it was at least 10 meters high. It grabbed Aulou. Petra and Gunther rushed to his aid. As Eld went to slice the variant's neck, its arms flailed and slammed him to the ground.

"This is why I don't like help," I dropped from the tree and fell towards its face. I stabbed its right eye. Its head shook, flinging me against the tree. My ribs bore the brunt of the assault. It grabbed my leg and held me upside down. Smiling, I shot cables into its arm and sliced the titan's fingers off. The cables snapped me upwards and I clambered onto the arm.

I ran up the arm and across its collar bone. Ducking to avoid an arm, I jumped across the neck, dragging my swords along the killing spot. I landed in a crouch, noting that the other titan was dead as well. Hearing someone land behind me, I turned to see Levi.

"I left you guys for 5 minutes," he said in exasperation.

"Next time, let me handle my own fights," I hissed, clutching my ribs. They were severely bruised or fractured, as far as I could tell from the pain.

"You were caught in a tree!" Petra defended her actions.

"No, I taking my time. The titan wasn't going anywhere!" I shot back.

"Shut up, Eld needs to be taken to the infirmary. So do you," Levi shot a glance at me.

"Excuse me, I didn't realize I took orders from you," I was annoyed.

"You don't. You were, however, just slammed against a tree. So shut up and accept the help," Levi explained. I stared at him.

"Fine."

* * *

"Eld is fine. He just has a concussion and a sprained ankle. That titan must have had good reactions," Hange rambled.

"Shitty glasses, I don't want to hear about your speculations," Levi interrupted.

"Anathema, I finally get to examine you! What hurts?" Hange slammed a finger into my side. I hissed and batted her hand away.

"My ribs on my left side. They're bruised, I think."

"Okay! Lift up your shirt, just a little," feeling reluctant, I rolled my shirt up to where it stopped just before my boobs. Hange's eyes widened. From the corner, I heard Petra gasp. Levi's expression did not change.

My body was covered in scars. My stomach especially. Claw marks rippled down my left side, across my rib cage. Knife marks ran across my other side. Other scars that I had received over the course of the years showed on my back and stomach. Perhaps the most horrifying scar was the one near my hip. It was shaped like a human mouth, courtesy of an over-excited savage.

"Hmm, they're not broken, just badly bruised," Hange said after runnning her hands over my ribs.

"Good," I nodded, "I should get out of your way. You guys still have preparations to finish." I strode out of the building they had turned into an infirmary.

* * *

I slammed the door of my shelter open. They pitied me now, great. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if they thought I was weak. I paced the length of the main room, trying to resist taking my anger out on something. It didn't work.

I whipped a knife off the table and threw it in a random direction. It thudded into the bookshelf, pinning something to the to the bookshelf, I yanked my knife out and examined what had been pinned.

It was a sheet of music. The title was too faded to read, but the notes were legible. I smiled, music held no bad memories for me. My mother had taught me how to sing and read music. Examining it, I felt the urge to sing. So I did.

My first notes were croaky. After a while, my voice broke into beautiful, clear notes. I sat there and allowed my voice to echo through the house. For once, I was at peace.

* * *

Today was the day the expedition left. I made sure to stay out of their way. I had no plans to show up today. Roaming around the forest didn't hold the same thrill that it had before. There was no way to ignore the sadness I felt at them leaving. I ran deeper into the forest, recklessly jumping through the branches.

Swerving to a stop, I stared in horror at the scene below. Dozens of titans were moving in the general direction of the village. Most seemed to be variants as well. Some were eating scouts, the search squads must have run into them. Turning, I used my maneuvering gear to pull me through forest.

The village was just ahead. I didn't stop to find a hole in the walls, climbing directly over them. I ran across the rooftops, avoiding scouts that tried to stop me. Commander Erwin was just ahead, he seemed to be deciding on the final route. Ignoring the shouts of scouts, I dropped directly into the middle of his group.

"Anathema, what is it?" Erwin asked.

"Did you send search squads into the forest this morning?" I asked.

"Yes, two squads. Anathema, what happened?" Erwin asked upon seeing the expression on my face.

"Congratulations, they're titan fodder now. There are dozens of titans heading here. They're directly along your route too," I snarled.

"You're lying!" A scout interrupted.

"She's not, there are at least 60 titans in the forest, heading in our direction," Levi walked into the group.

"Are there any directions not covered by titans?" Erwin asked.

"None."

"What would draw them here?" A scout shouted. Everyone looked at me.

"I don't know," An idea occurred to me, "Hange, have you sighted any cannibals since the day I was shot?"

"No, I haven't. They could have drawn the titans here," Hange realized.

"They're the only ones who know how to draw them here without losing a number of people," I decided.

"Anyone who is not a squad leader, leave. Anathema, you need to stay." Erwin ordered. Levi began to show Erwin the positions of the Titans. They must have found a map in the library.

"There aren't any clear routes through the forest. The best route to take would be this one. The trees are extremely dense around here. At one point, the path become narrow enough to take on one titan at a time," I traced a route with my fingertip, "The scouts will have to be careful with their gas. They won't have time to refuel, considering the amounts of variants. "

"How many variants?"

"Over half are variants of some sort. Some display intelligence as well," Levi informed him.

"I can already smell the them. They're an hour away at the most," Mike sniffed.

"Even if you use that route, there is a strong chance that we won't make it. We will need a place to stop, it is a two-day ride to the wall," Hange glanced at the map.

"One of the search squads will have to act as a distraction. After you break free of the forest, there is a small group of trees about a half day's ride from the forest. The titans don't go near it becauseof the rivers surrounding it. You can rest there for the night and move on in the morning," I left out the part where the search squad will get eaten.

"The rivers nearby will make it harder for them to detect us," Mike agreed.

"Do you have any spare horses?" I asked.

"Yes," Mike answered.

"Good, I'll ride with you guys until we hit the narrowest part of the route. I'll keep the titans away from the wagons until they're through," I decided.

"You'll be killed," Erwin glanced up at me.

"I don't have anything to lose. I don't have any family to miss me,either. I'm the best choice," I stated.

"Very well. Alert the squads of the changes. We leave in half an hour," The squad leaders nodded and left.

"I'll be back," I murmured.

"Anathema, are you sure about this?" Erwin asked, allowing concern to show.

"No, but I refuse to watch anybody else burn," I met his eyes, "Never again."

* * *

I ran across the village. There was an old storage facility hidden underground near the south wall. It hadn't been discovered due to the fact that the entrance was hidden inside one of the walls. The south wall was overgrown with vines, they built a thick blanket that completely concealed the entrance.

I searched for the small outcropping of rocks that marked the entrance. Seeing the large stone, I unsheathed my sword. The sword easily hacked through the vines and revealed a stone door with a handle carved into it. Grunting, I hauled the heavy thing open and walked inside.

The tunnel gently sloped down. I lit one of the torches that lined the tunnel and pulled it out of its bracket. Turning a corner, I walked into a large room. My torch dipped to a small pot set into the wall. It set off a chain reaction that lit the torches in the room. The room was lined with weapons and canisters of gas. The soldiers had stored extra supplies here so they wouldn't have to run back to the main armory during skirmishes.

I ignored both the weapons and the gas, opting to open one of the numerous chests against the back wall. Each chest belonged to a soldier that had guarded the wall. It contained a spare uniform and other things. The chief of defense and his second had a chest at each storage facility. I pulled my chest to the ground and opened it.

I pulled off all my clothes except my underthings. I was pleased to see that my tight, black pants still fit. Next was the royal blue, button-up shirt. I buttoned the cuffs of the shirt at my wrists. I pulled on the harness next. Yanking out the black boots, I laced them up so they stopped at my knees. Finally, I pulled on the black jacket that lay at the bottom of the chest. It was similar to the survey corp's jacket, except it did not have a collar.

Everything fit and looked okay, if not a little dusty. Something fell out of my pant pocket as I placed it in the chest. It was the pendant. I stared at it, debating about what to do with it. I swiftly made my decision. The pendant was cool against the hollow of my throat. I replaced the gas canisters in my maneuvering device with the ones in the room and attached them to my hips.

Testing the blades, I found that they had not dulled during their time underground. I also replenished my quiver and collected spare bowstrings. Finally, I pulled a small knife out of the chest and strapped it to my right arm. I rolled up my cloak and placed it inside my quiver.

I extinguished the torches in the room before leaving. The door slipped back into place. I felt invigorated, ready to face what was out there.

I was ready to die.

* * *

**Author's Note: How's it going? I hope this chapter was okay, if not, sorry. Anyways, I might not be able to get another chapter out until June due to all the finals, concerts, and state mandated exams. I'll try to make time to update soon, but school comes first. **

**Reviews make me happier than a cat getting high on catnip. **

**Bye!**


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